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How shall I begin...what brought me to this point? A little over two years ago, I had NO idea what was waiting for me. It is amazing what can change in just an instant. One second, you are talking to your friends, having a good time...thinking about giving your kids a call, and the next you get a phone call. You find out that your son, that you dropped off with his grandmother has been killed, and your two surviving children are in the hospital. One in a coma, that he might not wake up from. It is hard to explain what that does to you. In just a second, everything is changed. I am a geographically separated mother. My children live in Kansas, because when we were divorced, I barely had the means and emotional strength for myself, let alone three growing children. I knew that Kansas was a safe place for kids to grow up. Much safer than California, which was where I was going. About once a year, sometimes twice, I get to see them. The last time I saw all three of my children was June 22, 1996. I told them that I would see them later. I had to run out because my youngest was crying and it was breaking my heart. He was always a bit of a momma's boy. Less than three weeks later, I got a call from their father. Their had been a wreck. My two oldest were in the hospital. In my fear, I didn't notice immediately, that he hadn't named Troy. He paused a second, and then said, "Troy didn't make it". Never, in my life, to my knowledge have I screamed. I did then. It is hard to describe the thoughts that run through your head when you get a call like that. You want it to be a cruel joke, but I can't imagine even an ex-husband being that cruel, and even while you are denying it, you know that it is true. Your little boy is gone. The last time you saw him he was crying and you ran out the door. If I had only known, I don't think I would have left his side. There is always an 'If'. If I had taken them to be with me in July, like I had done the year before, or if their father had kept them at home...but why should he. Every other time that they had gone somewhere with their uncle, they had been safe. They had a very loving uncle who loved to do things with his niece and nephews. After that, things are in a blur. You stay strong, because you have to catch a plane and get to the town where your kids are. You cry, but you are mostly in shock. Being a parent that lives far away from everyone, you don't have any real closeness with anyone. They all have their lives their while yours is elsewhere. You feel, almost, like an incumbent. Then three days later, you are sitting on the couch, listening to people talk. First they are talking about Troy and Mark, who were killed and then they were talking about the wreck, and then they were talking about what they saw when they went to the mortuary. Without thinking, they are describing your son. Describing him in a way that you can't fathom; how he looked, what they had to do.
To visit my website please click the graphic above or click the graphic below to e-mail me. Thank you.
If you need help and can't find a resource here or on our other pages please use the link below to e-mail us, and we will help if possible. Please include the type of crime and location [city and state] where you need the help and we will respond as quickly as possible. Survivors Of Drunk Drivers Web Ring Our webring was created to bring together those who have 'survived' any type of accident involving someone who chose to drink before operating their vehicle. As a group, we can discuss how we have dealt with the outcome of our tragedies and become a unit to help stop others from joining our plight. Maybe we can save the lives of other innocent victims. Visit our Website OR Join our webring SUPPORT AND HELP The following links are Drug abuse resources that have many useful and helpful resources for those who need them.
The following three links will take you directly to our resources pages where you will find our resources for help and support for all victims and survivors.
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Date This Page Was Last Updated Copyright
DOVE [Dignity of Victims Everywhere]; 2004; |
